November 11, 2001
Canadian Cake
I was young and idealistic, a little crass

With a bouquet of flowers and a tear gas mask

I knew I had a serious task

The day the PM was pied

What started out as me joking to my roommates about the need for a Canadian version of "American Pie" (the song, by Don McLean) ended up as a fun little commentary on Canadian politics and culture. So, to the tune of the aformentioned song....

[Warning: non-Canadians may be mystified by some content]

posted by dru in culture

Canadian Cake

A long long time ago

I can still remember how democracy used to make me smile

And I knew if I my speach was great

That I could make those people debate

And maybe they'd be happy for a while.

But the long winter made me sigh

With every share of Nortel I'd buy

Bad news on the dow

A 52-week low!

I can't remember if I cussed

When I read about the budget cuts

But something made me doubt my trust

The day the economy bust



Hi, Hi, Mister Canadian Cake

'track my snowshoes through the winter to my igloo on the lake

Castro shed a tear at Trudeau's wake

Singin' Chretien puts pepper on steak

Yes, ole Jean puts pepper on steak

Did you write the free trade agreement

And do you have faith in our mosaic arangement

If the pundits tell you so

Are you relieved that rock 'n roll

Can help you meet your fiscal goal

And can you reach me now that I'm stuck in six feet of snooooww?

Well, I know that you're in love with lies

'Cause I saw you watchin' Harris on CBC live

You both kissed off the truth

Man, I dig those new toll booths

I was young and idealistic, a little crass

With a bouquet of flowers and a tear gas mask

I knew I had a serious task

The day the PM was pied

I started singin'


Now without Meech Lake we'd be on our own

And the BC hydro keeps us rollin', stoned

But we're too spaced out to see

When the jester wrote of the princess lean

Her kids went straight to the TV screen

And the voice was not from you or me

Oh, and while the people watched TV

The jester stole our misery

The courtroom was adjourned

No verdict was returned

And the class recited the Charter of Rights

The Jays got a new flood of lights

And we sang the anthem out of spite

The day the nation lied

We were singing


Helter Skelter in a homeless shelter

People sweatin' in the Ontario swelter

The water pressure's risin' fast

But keep that sprinkler off the grass

The commuter tried for a left lane pass

With the premier on the side, his name on plaques

Now the half-time air was sweet sweet smog

But we couldn't see much through all that fog

We all got up to no good

Oh, but we never dreamed we would

'Cause the farmer had to increase the yield

And plant GM crops in the field

Do you recall what was revealed

The day the prairies dried

We started singing


Oh, and here we are all in one place

A generation, a dearth of taste

With no wood left to start a fire

So come on, Clark be nimble, Day be slick

Bush the second lit a cannon wick

Grapeshot only worked before the wire

Oh, and as I watched the can-lit revival

Celine Dionne sang about survival

Cohen found the middle way

Nothing left for lyrics to sway

And as the smoldering corpse sat there, polite

Few bother to ponder our nation's plight

I saw Satan laughing with delight

The day that no one replied

He was singing


I met dude who talked the news

And I asked him to sing the blues

But he just smiled and turned away

I went down to the indy shop

Where I'd heard the music, long before pop

But the manager said the music didn't pay

And at the swap meets people payed

They saw the price posted on eBay

But not a contract was broken

The tips jars are only token

And the songs I heard on that road trip

Barrett's Privateers and the Tragically Hip

Were overplayed, it made me sick

The day the circuits fried

And it was playin'